Mom Guilt

Mom Guilt

I’ve been feeling pretty good lately about my Mom Skills. Despite me recovering from surgery and being pretty laid up, my little guy has still been behaving pretty well, helping me a lot around the house, and still enjoying his ‘school time.’ Before getting sick, I had been taking him on lots of outings and park trips, and we’d been having a lot of screen free time.

I was nailing it.

That is until his 4 year well check (that I scheduled 4 months late…mom guilt pang number one.) Developmentally he has come leaps and bounds. I got to answer ‘yes’ on all of the little circles on that awful checklist they make you fill out. {Does anyone else feel like the pediatrician is grading your abilities as a mother, or is that just me?} But, I felt really good about how far he has come.

That is- until she came in with his BMI chart. Pointing out how small he still is, and that his height has dropped a little on his growth curve. Then she began grilling me on his nutrition and and vegetable intake. Picky Eater Moms know the struggle.

She had me pretty freaked out, saying if he doesn’t gain weight or up his BMI we’re going to have to be referred to an endocrinologist to see if there are underlying issues. When your kid has had skull┬ásurgery this can be a concern. But I wanted to scream- “We were both tiny children. He’s taller than my 6 year old nephew. He is eating non-stop.” But, I just shook my head, answered her questions, and took him for Frozen Yogurt.

We’re now a Pediasure family, which I’m not sure how I feel about it, but if he needs the nutrients I’ll give it a try. I’m pushing lots more veggies and am constantly urging him to remember that the doctor said he has to eat better. I have become a kitchen dictator and I hate it.

It’s crazy how one little well check can really pile on the that Mom Guilt. Making me feel like a failure. I keep asking myself, “How could I not know he’s too small? I should have done better. I am a terrible mother.”

But, I also remember last year when I was literally breaking out in hives stressing over his food intake. Crying over the fact that I couldn’t get him to touch a vegetable. And, when I look at him now, eating celery and peanut butter, chopped cucumber, and roasted chickpeas all in one day- I know we’ve come a long way.

My husband keeps telling me that the pediatrician only sees a small snapshot of what is going on- and we need to focus on the progress we’ve seen. Our little guy had a rough start in life and we need to keep reminding ourselves how far he’s come.

Don’t let that Mom Guilt creep in and weigh heavy on you. It’s so easy to let it overtake all that you do. If you’re trying- you have no reason to feel guilty. Being a Mother is the absolute toughest job in the world, and we can’t let anyone make us feel like we’re doing a bad job.

I’m off to make a plethora of veggies to try and get my toddler to eat. But, I will not feel guilty if he doesn’t. I’ll keep on trying…that’s all I can do.

 

 

Anyone else experiencing this? How have you helped your toddler to be a better eater?

Comments

  1. says

    I can totally relate but I feel like we are on the opposite spectrum. By no means is Henry overweight but I fear that with his eating habits he very well could be. He will rarely sit down and eat a healthy meal and only wants to snack. He will literally go hours without eating if I don’t give him pretzels or something else. Then I just cave because I’m tired of arguing with him and when he doesn’t eat he gets so ornery! Age 4 is definitely a game changer!

  2. says

    Just by you trying to offer the best for your little man validates that you’re doing an amazing job. Though it is great how doctors are so observant of growth markers, I also feel it can bring on unnecessary stress and guilt. Each child grows differently, with different eating habits and taste buds. Keep up what you’re doing…small or big, he is healthy and perfect just the way he is.

  3. Becky says

    You were a very small child also don’t forget and you didn’t catch up till you were older. Kids grow at different rates. One of these days he will just grow!!!. You are a very good mother and shouldn’t let anyone make you feel like you aren’t. Steven is a very smart well balanced child, that is what you should be proud of. I know doctor is just concerned because of the surgery but she doesn’t know all the family history either. So just give him pediasure and if they make him see the other doctor, oh well, then they will see he is normal for him :)

  4. says

    Oh mama… I can totally relate. I think we all can actually! My son is on the smaller side too… We actually go for his 4 year check up tomorrow, I’m hoping our pediatrician isn’t too hard on me!

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