This past weekend, my Husband and I had a date night. As parents of a small child, date nights are few and far between. But, now that he’s getting a little older, we are beginning to see how important it is for us, as a couple, to have time alone with each other. Even if it’s for only a few hours.
We sat down across the table from each other, at a quiet restaurant. We got to have an uninterrupted conversation. We didn’t have to wipe up spills. (You know, except for the ones I made.) We played footsie under the table. We laughed at each other’s jokes and flirted a little. Afterwards my Husband held my hand on the way to the car, and declared, “that was the best dinner conversation we’ve had in quite awhile.”
The scene froze in my head, and I thought back to the previous dinners of the week. Child yelling loudly in the background, me scrambling to get the food on the table. Me yelling at said child to eat his dinner so he could have a bath before it was too late for bedtime. The harried, scrambled act that is the weeknight dinner shuffle. Not to mention the chaos of cleaning it all up. Giving the bath. Barely making it to bed before passing out from exhaustion.
We needed that dinner time alone. The time to talk to each other, and actually HEAR the responses. The time to make eyes at each other over our drinks. To linger and hold hands. It wasn’t a luxury. It was a necessity.
I like to think we have a strong marriage. We’re close, and we share a lot with one another. But, we still need that time alone. To reconnect. To refocus.
It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner out, or a lavish locale. It could be ordering pizza and curling up on the couch. Turning off the t.v. and rubbing each other’s feet. Snuggling up and watching an old favorite movie. Listening to your wedding cd and dancing around the living room.
It’s all about focusing on your spouse and reminding them how much you love them.
And I know, as a mother, getting to shut that part of my brain off that is constantly, ever in the background, focusing on my kiddo- it makes me a different person. I feel rested. Refreshed. Renewed. My Husband notices. And I’m sure he enjoys the extra attention. And he gives the attention right back.
Bonus- my kiddo loves getting to have a night away with family. Getting attention from grandparents or cousins. It’s good for all of us. And we miss each other, so picking him up is good for all of us. Believe me, as a stay at home mom, he rarely gets the chance to actually MISS me.
So, schedule it now. Make a date. A week or a month from now. But, put it in the books. Make time for yourself. Make time for each other. Just like YOU need self care, your marriage still needs a little attention every now and again.
Have you dated your spouse recently? What did you do to reconnect?
Let me know if you’d like me to share some date ideas with you- and let’s hold each other accountable in this.