The other night I went to meet with some fellow Homeschooling Mommas in our community. As we were all getting settled, and introducing ourselves, I came to a funny realization. Whenever Moms meet each other for the first time, the second question we ask each other is, “How many kids do you have?” Every single time. Name, then how many kids do you have. It NEVER fails.
I started giggling to myself on the drive home when I had this realization, because I imagined a group of men getting together.
Hey Bob, this is Mike. Nice to meet you. How many kids do you have?”
Seems silly, right?
Sometimes, as Moms- especially in a ‘mom centered’ event, we find camaraderie and solace in finding other Moms with the same amount, or same aged children. You know that the Mom with 4 kids understands why you’re stressed. Or the mom struggling through the terrible twos (or threes in my case) beside you- she gets why you’re ready to burst into tears at any moment.
We compare ourselves. We stand next to the most similar mom we can find, and encourage one another. It’s comfortable and uplifting to find Moms who are so much like ourselves. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this!
But, then I thought, maybe we’re selling ourselves short when we do this. We may be bypassing wonderful friendships. A veteran Mom who knows all- who you can call in the middle of the night and ask all of the mothering questions. A new Mom, who could really use a friend. One who has a fresh perspective, and a tiny baby to snuggle. By only spending time with the Moms most like ourselves, we may be missing out on an amazing bond.
So, next time you’re meeting some new Moms for the first time, don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Remind yourself that there are a lot of benefits to befriending fellow mothers who aren’t carbon copies of yourself. Sometimes opposites truly attract, and you may find your new best friend. This may even come in handy later, if you’re not crafty and she is. Or if you’re terrible at playdates, and she plans the most amazing events. The possibilities are endless.
Put yourself out there. You won’t regret it.