To the Girl I Used to Be
I wrote a letter to my former self, the young girl I once was.
The girl I used to be.
You are now the Mother you thought you might never be.
Right now you are a night owl. Always up late watching movies, reading, painting your nails. Talking on the phone and laughing. Unable to sleep because you have so many things you want to do.
One day you will no longer be plagued with that pesky insomnia. You will instead be so tired, you’re lucky to stay up past 9:30- and you will have an ACTUAL To-Do list.
You are never in a bad mood. Always chipper- once pegged “Perkiest” at your summer camp.
All I have to say to that is- Ha Ha Ha. Meet me in 5 years.
As a young lady, you will never have to endure real pain or heartache. Never be hurt by others’ words or actions- or by the harshness of the real world. There are only stars in your eyes, and that is okay.
You will marry the man of your dreams- someone you never expected, but kind of always hoped for. (That first date won’t go as planned, but that kiss at the end of the night is totally worth it!)
You will have a beautiful life together.
You will decide to start a family- and your heart will be broken. Over and over. You will cry bitter and angry tears over things you never even thought possible.
After what seems like an eternity of waiting, you will have an amazing little boy. He will overcome great obstacles- and ultimately emerge victorious. During this time you will be more scared than you ever thought possible. Love deeper than you ever knew you were capable. And fight harder than you’ve ever had to.
I wish I could protect you from this pain and heartache. But, these hardships will shape you.
You will be a completely different person than you are now. A different version of yourself.
But, you will also love yourself more than you ever have. Think for yourself more than you ever thought. You will be your own person, but part of a family.
You will make real friends. Form real relationships. Share your thoughts with other Mothers. Be a part of something amazing.
Ultimately, your life will turn out completely differently than you planned. You won’t live in a big city. You won’t be mega successful. And, you won’t be filthy rich.
But, you never really wanted any of that anyway.
Don’t lose heart in the hard times. Keep your faith, talk to God. Love your husband. Hold on to that precious baby. And enjoy your time.
Time will pass too quickly, and suddenly you will be me.
I’ll write you again in 5 years- I can’t wait to see what happens.
If you could write a letter to yourself, say, 10 years ago- what would you say?