Of all of the things I’ve gone through as a parent- potty training ranks right up there at the top of my list of ‘least favorite things.’ I’ve compiled a list of reasons why potty training is one of the absolute worst things about parenting that I’ve experienced thus far:
1.) Poop and pee everywhere. As if changing diapers was a pleasant experience to begin with…now your little one is dropping loads big enough that a diaper can’t contain them. And instead of going to the potty- like they know they’re supposed to- they hide and do it eerily silently. In a diaper that’s now too small to contain it! Or, in my toddler’s case, takes a giant pee all over his bed every morning. I have never washed sheets more in my life, or had a quicker reaction time than when I hear my son say, “Uh-oh, there’s poop everywhere!”
2.) Constant potty breaks. I almost miss diapers, when my tiny bladder bearing toddler has to go to the bathroom for the 5th time at the grocery store. And the panic sweat that I break out in, when he yells, “I’ve gotta poop,” and we’re nowhere near a bathroom. The HORROR.
3.) The false alarms. When you scurry around like a crazy person trying to find a bathroom, and they sit down and nothing happens. Or they trick you into letting them stay up half the night because they “have to go peeee!”
4.) All of the Pinterest pins and blog posts about “3 Day Potty Training” or “The Best Way to Potty Train”- I’m calling BS. There is no trick. There is no secret. If there was, I would’ve discovered it by now!
And the absolute worst part?
5.) The advice from well-meaning parents. Please don’t tell me again to just let my toddler run around naked and he’ll go in the potty. The one time I actually tried this technique, guess what he did? Peed all over the floor. A giant puddle in the middle of my kitchen. Thank my lucky stars it wasn’t the carpet. And the one’s who say, “I didn’t have to do anything. they practically potty trained themselves.” I’ve never wanted to throat punch a fellow parent before, but that comment has made me come pretty close.
If only there was some magical solution to potty training. The problem is, all kids are different. What works for one family, may not work for you. Potty training is terrible for everyone. It’s just one of the truths of parenting- some parts of it suck. Thankfully, most days, the good outweighs the bad.
Maybe tomorrow will be the day my little one goes to the potty indefinitely. (Please, please, please.)
And no- I will not ask your tips and tricks. I don’t want to hear them. Just kidding… Kinda.