As we transition into motherhood, our friendships change form and become something different entirely. Before this life where we were ruled by tiny dictators- we had ladies nights, long phone conversations, spa days- we pulled all nighters, and slept all day.
We took weekend getaways, late lunches, and shopped until we dropped. Spent ridiculous amounts of money on clothing we didn’t need.
Now friendship looks like taking our fellow worn out Momma some coffee and having a conversation while she folds her laundry. Offering help, but she really only needs the conversation. Children shrieking in the background, and a teething baby rolling across the floor.
Unfinished texts sent haphazardly demanding “Should I call poison control?!” and occasional emails with subject lines that read: “I think I’m losing it.”
Our conversations change from what shoes are in style, to which ones are the most comfortable. Which dresses are easier to nurse in, and which colors don’t show stains. We talk in depth about children’s bathroom habits and our lack of sleep.
A lunch out is nodding your head while your friend talks, while stuffing your face as fast as possible. Doling out juice boxes and wiping ketchup stained fingers. Answering a million different questions from toddlers, while still attempting to attentively hear your friend’s.
Road trips look like overflowing diaper bags and spilled sippy cups. Screaming from the back seat and getting hit in the head with a flying dinosaur. Loud radio sing alongs, and the 15th time of remarking, “WE’RE ALMOST THERE!” The whole time wondering if it was a good idea to attempt a trip- but giving it a go anyway.
Movie marathons become Disney themed. And all of the parties you attend serve kool-aid instead of cocktails. Baby showers and 1st birthday celebrations replace wedding receptions and housewarming parties.
Your advice becomes parenting related. Your conversations adolescent centered. No more dating horror stories or office party shenanigans.
But, you high five each other the first time your babies sleep through the night. Hold each other’s hands when your toddler fails to reach a milestone. Pat each other on the backs when they finally do. Cheer each other on in each stage, even if it’s over Facetime or Snapchat.
The clothing and the conversations may change. You will no longer be able to drop everything at a moment’s notice to spend time with one another. You may not see each other for weeks, or even months at a time.
But, you’re in this as a tribe. Braving the trenches together. Facing the fears head on. Laughing hysterically when it doesn’t go as planned, but turns out even better. Crying tears of frustration and wiping those of joy.
No more fair weather friends- we hold on to only the ones that matter. These friendships cultivated in motherhood are the ones that last a lifetime.