Before I was a mother I had a lot of assumptions and misconceptions about what it was going to be like.
When I was pregnant I rubbed my ever-swelling stomach and day dreamed of rosy cheeks and long naps. Sweet smelling baby clothes and tiny toes.
What I got was a colicky, refluxy baby that, most of the time, smelled of sour milk and never seemed to stop crying.
I spent countless hours doing laundry and picking up toys over and over again as quickly as they could be dumped out onto the floor. I wiped up spills and crumbs on an endless loop. Scrubbed crayon from the wall, and once had to actually scoop poop off a mattress.
Motherhood was a lot messier than I expected it to be. For my house, for my car, and for my heart.
Was it worth it? Totally! But, I also like to think back to the girl who once dreamed of being a mother. And I’d like to tell her that it’s not going to be anything like she had thought.
I wish I could go back to those infant days and tell myself I needed to eat. To nap when the baby napped. To go ahead and let the dishes pile up and enjoy those tiny baby snuggles. Because before I knew it I went from sleep-deprived newborn Mommy, to crazed Mom with an armful of wriggling toddler.
Time has still not slowed. And as the mom of an active Kindergartner, I wake up every day and wonder where the heck the time has gone.
How can such long stressful days make for such short years?
I will probably be awakened tomorrow by a high-schooler and then attend his wedding next week. As least that’s what it feels like sometimes.
But until then, when I’m cursing the clock for moving so slow, I’ll remind myself of how quickly it has really went. And wish for time to stay still for just a moment longer.
It didn’t turn out anything like I thought it would- but somehow it is so much better!
