It has come to my attention lately that people are becoming very judgmental about the size of other peoples’ families. And not just “people”- Moms.
Ladies, Momming is hard enough without tossing judgement daggers at each others’ throats.
Whether I want a big family or a small one, let me resurrect one of my favorite childhood sayings- It is NONE of your beeswax how many kids I want to have.
When people ask how many children I have, and I answer, “one,” the question that immediately follows is, “When are you having more?”
or they comment, “He’s 4, you better get started on some brothers or sisters.”
And, oh my goodness, when I mention that my husband had a vasectomy shortly after our son’s 1st birthday- you can hear crickets chirping, followed by open-mouthed stares.
For a long time I felt confused. Nervous. The need to explain myself, as if by only having one child I was breaking some sort of code:
-I had trouble getting pregnant
-I had trouble staying pregnant
-My son suffers from various health problems
-We wanted more, but are happy with one
Then, I realized, I don’t have to say anything. There is no need to justify our decision. Ours- the decision that should only be made between me and my husband.
Believe me, we heard plenty of sobbing and gnashing of teeth from our mothers!
Fellow Mom’s of one– you are NOT any less of a mother because you only have one child. You are not doing less work. Answering less questions. Or, feeling any less crazy.
Even though I only have one, I still have had plenty of sleepless nights. I have still had long, hard days. I still need copious amounts of coffee and, on some occasions, that glass of wine at the end of a hectic day.
If you want 12 kids- that’s fine with me, as long as they’re loved and taken care of- good for you, the more the merrier.
You are awesome.
We’re all awesome.
Don’t judge me and I won’t judge you. This motherhood job is ridiculously hard most days, we can all use an ally.
But, I’m going to enjoy the fact that I’m D-O-N-E with morning sickness, swollen ankles, and insane dreams. And for the most part, diapers and spit-up.
I’ll be busy raising my little guy for the next 16 or so years, and for me that will be enough. And, since I don’t plan on having anymore- I think I’ll just go ahead and start planning our next vacation.