If you ever volunteer to watch kids: Church Nursery, Mom’s Group, what have you- you will meet these kids every.single.time. I have spent years and years working with small children, first babysitting as a teen to working with children as an adult, and I have consistently come face to face with these 5 offenders.
1.) The Cougher– As soon as the parents drop this kid off, they will begin coughing and hacking and touching everything with their germy fingers. This will be the child high-fiving all of the other children. The one dipping their hands directly into the snack bowl. He/She will be doling out hugs and will never, ever cover his/her mouth. See also: Snot Head (the one who has a constant drip of snot running from their nostrils to their mouth).
2.) The Buzz Kill– This child will come in and immediately ask for food. When you don’t give them food, they will sit down with a scowl on their face until the food comes. This child will light up at snack time, talking and playing. As soon as the food goes away- so does this child’s disposition.
3.) The Biter– This child is never the one you expect it to be- they are sneaky like a ninja! You will never see them actually bite another child, but you will see bites spreading over the other children like a quick-moving plague. Call the CDC or wait a bit- the last child standing without a bite on them is the culprit.
4.) The Crier– This child will cry the whole time they are in your care. Nothing can be done to soothe or assuage this tot. One of the workers will end up holding this little one for the entirety of your time together. Once the parents of said child return, this child will return to their chipper self. Don’t waste your time trying to cheer this one up-only the faces of Mom or Dad have that ability.
5.) The Pee Pants– This child will be dropped off in underwear and their parents will swear they are potty trained. Turn around 3.226 seconds later and this child will be standing in a puddle. Extra clothes will not be included with said child, and you will end up under a dryer with their pants and bagging up their underwear in a discarded grocery sack.
There are many other types of children you will meet if you work in any sort of childcare situation, but I’ve met with these 5 almost every time.
