How I See God in the Midst of My Anxiety
I’ve shared my struggle with anxiety a lot over the past few years. It is a daily struggle for me. Sometimes it leaves me alone for weeks or months- but then it rears its ugly head and sinks its nails in. Then it’s back for a good long while.
I’ve been really struggling the last couple of months. I try not to show it- but it’s always there. At the edge of my thoughts. I’ve been doing a better job keeping the fear at bay. But, it is always just around the corner.
I heard a sermon at church a few weeks ago. The preacher was talking about pruning. How grape vines have to be pruned in order to grow. And that pruning may be painful, but it is also necessary.
I began to think that maybe, my anxiety is something that is pruning me. And because of it- the fear, and the anxious thoughts, I rely on God and prayer more than ever. It is when I am at my weakest and most anxious that I reach out to him through prayer. And while I don’t think that God wants me to be anxious- the bible says ‘do not fear’ SO many times. But, I also think he uses it to bring me closer to Him.
Because when I am afraid. When I’m nervous- I pray. I lean on him instead of the things of this world. And I truly believe that even though my anxiety is awful- it is bringing me even closer to Him.
I am so thankful we have such a good, good Father. One whom we can reach out to anytime, anyplace. My prayer is that some day I won’t struggle with this any longer. But, I am also learning that it can be used for good.
For those of you who struggle with anxiety and fear- especially during this busy season. My thoughts and prayers are with you.